Lonely

Its nearing almost 144 hours since i lost all ready communication with her. The world is spinning so fast. Well i am in a negative state of mind also called loneliness marked by a sense of isolation which is a bit different from solitude.The bitter form of loneliness perhaps is being with people but still feel lonely.. Its an harsh punishment state of discomfort marked by estrangement which you are giving yourself coz you miss somebody terribly in your life. Loneliness is such that when your cell rings you get a smile and when you see somebody else you go to a state of uncomfort.You don't get your sleep as if her thoughts keep waking you up. You skip everything just to be left alone with memories about her smile, her talks,her small things.

An unconscious negative biasmay start feeding your depression.Its the loudest noise of your heart your are neither in heaven or hell you feel like loosing ever thing and you totally live with a single hope that you will meet her one day.Its a situation where you have met your real inner self its not harmful its hurtful.It drives you insane. you feel sad , depressed all alone and you avoid meeting new people. and you become all the while critical. All the while you just being with her snaps, letters , talks, emails and thinking about all those passed moments.Precondition of living real life just becomes a burden.You walk a lonely path in the company of grief. Lost and dwell ed deep your love feelings pacing slowly at the other end.Our memories, our thoughts, ideas , notions attitude and feelings all go hay wire.Only in love where one accepts to be lonely does he feels solitude of things. One relation to them and to lay one open to pain. Unaccustomed to caring we become paranoid and insecure.

Amid the darkest clouds of tumultuous loneliness there is storm of pain , hope and confusion.


Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness;
So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.