I missed you....

करवटे बदल -बदल के बीताते थे रात हम और यूँ आँखो आँखो में रात काट जाती थी काटते रहे हम तेरे इंतज़ार में यूँ ही ज़िंदगी का सफ़र तेरी यादे और बेवफ़ाई की रोशनी मेरी मंज़िलो को रास्ता दिखा जाती थी .

I miss her a lot i don know but the feeling is overwhelming... i keep my self engaged by working like hell and when at rest just think about her.Never thought that love is like this.But good that i am learning new things and bearing pain which can is unbearable at times.I have faith in her and faith in her attitude.This is the time that no matter how much i care about her i cannot do anything.I dont know but somehow i feel something is wrong with her coz i can feel that my beats are not regular as if she is missin me a lot... This feeling of depression is so close as if our heart are just one.I dont know but i am doing my best to make her strong so that she can judge whts best for her.Today I miss you, more than I can say. I love you with all that I am, and I know that you are all I will ever need. When tomorrow comes , and all the tomorrows after, my heart will be here, filled with the love I feel this day. In silence she waits calmly but here i am dying i do not how long i have left.Her smile is late and i contemplate my reply i cannot even say her name...Her eyes search me in distance and time.I waited for so long i have been patient and strong my walls i forsake.I can understand her pain and she is breathing a different breath.Heavy with sighs sad in eyes the mind throbs in thought too empty to feel as if life were unreal.I am far away dreaming i am sorry i missed you sorry i could not see you, i will wake up like this and i will stay up late for now its is my turn to wait i am sorry i missed you.

.........

Whole night tears kept rolling for every drop i just remembered you.Sleep was distant and so was my peace.Why did this happened i never knew for i never knew i can love somebody that i can be so impatient just to listen a simple whisper of her.i am unable to write for this moment things which went by.....

चलो आज आखरी यह इंतज़ाम कर ले

पहचान आपनी आपनी दूजे के नाम कर ले........



ऐसा क्यो होता है कि जिससे आप बहुत पयार करते हैं उनसे आप बहुत दूर चले जाते है सिर्फ एक पल मैं.कहता हूँ जरा थम थम के रफ्ता रफ्ता चल ज़िन्दगी कि यह शमा या फिजा बदल ना जाये...प्यार ने मुझे एक पल मैं जन्नत को दिखा दिया ओर उसी प्यार के एक पल मैं मुझे रुला दिया । तेरा मिलना एक एहसास है। तेरी आवाज़ मेरे वीरानो को महका जाती है झनकती है मेरे अंदर तक और मेरी रूह को छू जाती है । अब तेरे लिए मेरा दीवानापन इससे ज़्यादा और क्या होगा । जब भी ढलका है शाम का आँचल कही मुझे क्यूं लगता है की तू कही इंतज़ार मेरा करती होगी ।बीत ना जाए यह ज़िंदगी की शाम भी कही, ख़ामोशी से मेरी गीतो में अपनी सांसो की रवानी भर दे । आ मेरी आँखो में एक ख्वाब फिर से सज़ा दे....

Love Hurts The Most When You Havn't Understood Your Lover.

जाने इस मोहब्बत में ऐसा क्यों होता है वो मुझसे जुदा हो कर भी जुदा नही होता है
हर एक पल बस तलाश करती हैं उसको मेरी नज़रे हर एक नज़ारे में बस उसका ही गुमान होता है
देखा करते हैं हम ख्वाब उनके ही दिन रात सिर्फ़ वो ही वो मेरे दिल के क़रीब होता
ढलकता है जब भी रात का आँचल चाँद के मुख से हर बीतते पल में उनसे मिलने का सबब होता है
समा जाए धड़कनों में अब धड़कने कुछ ऐसे हर पल उनकी सांसो में गुम होने का नशा होता है
अक्सर उनको महसूस किया है मैने अपने आस पास क्या यह सच है या मेरे वजूद पर उनका यूँ ही असर होता है
सच कर दे इस ख़्वाब को अपनी बाहों में भर के तू सनम आज की रात का सफ़र भी अब यूँ ही ख़्वाबों में खत्म होता है

We have taken a decision for us.It was one of my days when i felt i have lost something for a short time which i treasured the most.God has been kind on me that whatever i loved it had always stayed with me no matter.Might be there is something else but i felt i went with her coz i wanted to make her strong,somebody whom i treasure and love the most in my life.They say parents,friends are most important part of your life and you love them the most but sometimes you dont know when you start loving somebody so much that you forget yourself in that.I hate to see her cry for things beyond her control,emotions which she has not created,sentiments which make her feel guilty... whenever i think of her i feel why these things had happened to her.She is a kind of person who had always enjoyed life much more then anybody and she knows the true color of life.. i must say god has been... cruel to her.Is it her mistake to care about somebody,feel the greatest emotion and support ,at times costing her honesty...well not really its not her mistake at all.She has been a good child, caring daughter,loving sis and above all a girl who floated all her her emotion just to protect somebody from unkind fate.

I will never be able to really understand what went wrong and i will never try to question her judgement.She has been honest to her emotion and she has sacrificed herself unconditionally.We cannot stand such kind of emotions.God must have something better for her in future might be HE is just testing her.If anybody want to learn what love,sacrifice,care,determination and emotions are they must have to learn from her.She has made greatest of sacrifice in life but still she has smile resembling her true spirit in understanding life.I am with her always and i will always be just to make her strong and happy,i understand i need to give her some time.

Love hurts the most when you haven't understood your lover.Its what love means.Its extreme can only be felt by lucky few.Love means to me to give love unconditionally if are unable to do that then don try, you will fail miserably and only will get hurt...