Love ,soft as an easy chair, Love fresh as the morning air...One love that is shared by two..I have found with you.. Like a Rose under april snow i was always certain love would grow...taken from a song... to me quite true how i felt..mood is elevated and world looks magnified...Everybody cant get you..there is euphoria which seems to transcend the pains of our past..for everything.. the thing which puzzles though is that we don't wait to be in love with somebody to realize it.The first peace when we realize our relationship and oneness..Knowing that everything happens for reason enables us to better accept the things and move on.. there are lessons to be learned in every encounter we have with another person... sometimes we don not recognize why something happened at first or why some person came in my life at the time sometimes day,months or years... later i can look what happened and say "hmm ha" that is why that happened the way it did..Because if that hadn't happened ( what i perceived negative at that time) then this wonderful thing could not happen to me now...I should love being Happy.Happiness is my "ATTITUDE TOWARDS LIFE"Coz i know i am living a blessed life..I feel that change is process and not an event, a feeling of emotional,mental , and sometime physical chaos..but in this period its the most creative time of our life...and its reality..
The important thing is this to be able at any moment to sacrifice what we are for what we could become..Holding on to what we are means that we hold on to self limiting beliefs,prejudices,habits...we hold to things coz we bare comfortable with our habits and fear what the change may bring but its just our ego rather then our real soul..once we are in tune with our soul our inner self then its easy to let go ego based emotions that we hold on..Many relationships do not last or exist in a roller-coaster of emotions... If two people could put aside their ego, and could relate without fear of being hurt,without fear of judgement.. we will have an ultimate relationship an essence,a word, a true identity called "Soulmate Relationship"...its not an designation its never ending saga and a glorious journey called love..
Sometimes life traps us emotionally may the way seems hard to find.. its better speak where i had remained silent previously,realizing that not everything is bad and focusing on my self rather then behaviour of others.Might be its because i am here of as a result of my own choice...sometimes i refuse to compromise on truth even no matter how much love is involved..How i deal with love is how i deal with me.. and all our hearts feel the same pains and joys..even if our lives and ways are different...the first blush of love overflows and as our love cools we revert to seeing our love as need..and we cease to be someone who generates love instead become someone who seeks love...love has a reason for coming and going ,its own time and its own season.. embrace it when it arrives and give it away when it comes to you..love always has been and be always will be a mystery am happy it came in my life for a moment...
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
I missed you....
करवटे बदल -बदल के बीताते थे रात हम और यूँ आँखो आँखो में रात काट जाती थी काटते रहे हम तेरे इंतज़ार में यूँ ही ज़िंदगी का सफ़र तेरी यादे और बेवफ़ाई की रोशनी मेरी मंज़िलो को रास्ता दिखा जाती थी .
I miss her a lot i don know but the feeling is overwhelming... i keep my self engaged by working like hell and when at rest just think about her.Never thought that love is like this.But good that i am learning new things and bearing pain which can is unbearable at times.I have faith in her and faith in her attitude.This is the time that no matter how much i care about her i cannot do anything.I dont know but somehow i feel something is wrong with her coz i can feel that my beats are not regular as if she is missin me a lot... This feeling of depression is so close as if our heart are just one.I dont know but i am doing my best to make her strong so that she can judge whts best for her.Today I miss you, more than I can say. I love you with all that I am, and I know that you are all I will ever need. When tomorrow comes , and all the tomorrows after, my heart will be here, filled with the love I feel this day. In silence she waits calmly but here i am dying i do not how long i have left.Her smile is late and i contemplate my reply i cannot even say her name...Her eyes search me in distance and time.I waited for so long i have been patient and strong my walls i forsake.I can understand her pain and she is breathing a different breath.Heavy with sighs sad in eyes the mind throbs in thought too empty to feel as if life were unreal.I am far away dreaming i am sorry i missed you sorry i could not see you, i will wake up like this and i will stay up late for now its is my turn to wait i am sorry i missed you.
I miss her a lot i don know but the feeling is overwhelming... i keep my self engaged by working like hell and when at rest just think about her.Never thought that love is like this.But good that i am learning new things and bearing pain which can is unbearable at times.I have faith in her and faith in her attitude.This is the time that no matter how much i care about her i cannot do anything.I dont know but somehow i feel something is wrong with her coz i can feel that my beats are not regular as if she is missin me a lot... This feeling of depression is so close as if our heart are just one.I dont know but i am doing my best to make her strong so that she can judge whts best for her.Today I miss you, more than I can say. I love you with all that I am, and I know that you are all I will ever need. When tomorrow comes , and all the tomorrows after, my heart will be here, filled with the love I feel this day. In silence she waits calmly but here i am dying i do not how long i have left.Her smile is late and i contemplate my reply i cannot even say her name...Her eyes search me in distance and time.I waited for so long i have been patient and strong my walls i forsake.I can understand her pain and she is breathing a different breath.Heavy with sighs sad in eyes the mind throbs in thought too empty to feel as if life were unreal.I am far away dreaming i am sorry i missed you sorry i could not see you, i will wake up like this and i will stay up late for now its is my turn to wait i am sorry i missed you.
Sunday, September 23, 2007
.........
Whole night tears kept rolling for every drop i just remembered you.Sleep was distant and so was my peace.Why did this happened i never knew for i never knew i can love somebody that i can be so impatient just to listen a simple whisper of her.i am unable to write for this moment things which went by.....
चलो आज आखरी यह इंतज़ाम कर ले
पहचान आपनी आपनी दूजे के नाम कर ले........
ऐसा क्यो होता है कि जिससे आप बहुत पयार करते हैं उनसे आप बहुत दूर चले जाते है सिर्फ एक पल मैं.कहता हूँ जरा थम थम के रफ्ता रफ्ता चल ज़िन्दगी कि यह शमा या फिजा बदल ना जाये...प्यार ने मुझे एक पल मैं जन्नत को दिखा दिया ओर उसी प्यार के एक पल मैं मुझे रुला दिया । तेरा मिलना एक एहसास है। तेरी आवाज़ मेरे वीरानो को महका जाती है झनकती है मेरे अंदर तक और मेरी रूह को छू जाती है । अब तेरे लिए मेरा दीवानापन इससे ज़्यादा और क्या होगा । जब भी ढलका है शाम का आँचल कही मुझे क्यूं लगता है की तू कही इंतज़ार मेरा करती होगी ।बीत ना जाए यह ज़िंदगी की शाम भी कही, ख़ामोशी से मेरी गीतो में अपनी सांसो की रवानी भर दे । आ मेरी आँखो में एक ख्वाब फिर से सज़ा दे....
पहचान आपनी आपनी दूजे के नाम कर ले........
ऐसा क्यो होता है कि जिससे आप बहुत पयार करते हैं उनसे आप बहुत दूर चले जाते है सिर्फ एक पल मैं.कहता हूँ जरा थम थम के रफ्ता रफ्ता चल ज़िन्दगी कि यह शमा या फिजा बदल ना जाये...प्यार ने मुझे एक पल मैं जन्नत को दिखा दिया ओर उसी प्यार के एक पल मैं मुझे रुला दिया । तेरा मिलना एक एहसास है। तेरी आवाज़ मेरे वीरानो को महका जाती है झनकती है मेरे अंदर तक और मेरी रूह को छू जाती है । अब तेरे लिए मेरा दीवानापन इससे ज़्यादा और क्या होगा । जब भी ढलका है शाम का आँचल कही मुझे क्यूं लगता है की तू कही इंतज़ार मेरा करती होगी ।बीत ना जाए यह ज़िंदगी की शाम भी कही, ख़ामोशी से मेरी गीतो में अपनी सांसो की रवानी भर दे । आ मेरी आँखो में एक ख्वाब फिर से सज़ा दे....
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Love Hurts The Most When You Havn't Understood Your Lover.
जाने इस मोहब्बत में ऐसा क्यों होता है वो मुझसे जुदा हो कर भी जुदा नही होता है
हर एक पल बस तलाश करती हैं उसको मेरी नज़रे हर एक नज़ारे में बस उसका ही गुमान होता है
देखा करते हैं हम ख्वाब उनके ही दिन रात सिर्फ़ वो ही वो मेरे दिल के क़रीब होता
ढलकता है जब भी रात का आँचल चाँद के मुख से हर बीतते पल में उनसे मिलने का सबब होता है
समा जाए धड़कनों में अब धड़कने कुछ ऐसे हर पल उनकी सांसो में गुम होने का नशा होता है
अक्सर उनको महसूस किया है मैने अपने आस पास क्या यह सच है या मेरे वजूद पर उनका यूँ ही असर होता है
सच कर दे इस ख़्वाब को अपनी बाहों में भर के तू सनम आज की रात का सफ़र भी अब यूँ ही ख़्वाबों में खत्म होता है
We have taken a decision for us.It was one of my days when i felt i have lost something for a short time which i treasured the most.God has been kind on me that whatever i loved it had always stayed with me no matter.Might be there is something else but i felt i went with her coz i wanted to make her strong,somebody whom i treasure and love the most in my life.They say parents,friends are most important part of your life and you love them the most but sometimes you dont know when you start loving somebody so much that you forget yourself in that.I hate to see her cry for things beyond her control,emotions which she has not created,sentiments which make her feel guilty... whenever i think of her i feel why these things had happened to her.She is a kind of person who had always enjoyed life much more then anybody and she knows the true color of life.. i must say god has been... cruel to her.Is it her mistake to care about somebody,feel the greatest emotion and support ,at times costing her honesty...well not really its not her mistake at all.She has been a good child, caring daughter,loving sis and above all a girl who floated all her her emotion just to protect somebody from unkind fate.
I will never be able to really understand what went wrong and i will never try to question her judgement.She has been honest to her emotion and she has sacrificed herself unconditionally.We cannot stand such kind of emotions.God must have something better for her in future might be HE is just testing her.If anybody want to learn what love,sacrifice,care,determination and emotions are they must have to learn from her.She has made greatest of sacrifice in life but still she has smile resembling her true spirit in understanding life.I am with her always and i will always be just to make her strong and happy,i understand i need to give her some time.
Love hurts the most when you haven't understood your lover.Its what love means.Its extreme can only be felt by lucky few.Love means to me to give love unconditionally if are unable to do that then don try, you will fail miserably and only will get hurt...
हर एक पल बस तलाश करती हैं उसको मेरी नज़रे हर एक नज़ारे में बस उसका ही गुमान होता है
देखा करते हैं हम ख्वाब उनके ही दिन रात सिर्फ़ वो ही वो मेरे दिल के क़रीब होता
ढलकता है जब भी रात का आँचल चाँद के मुख से हर बीतते पल में उनसे मिलने का सबब होता है
समा जाए धड़कनों में अब धड़कने कुछ ऐसे हर पल उनकी सांसो में गुम होने का नशा होता है
अक्सर उनको महसूस किया है मैने अपने आस पास क्या यह सच है या मेरे वजूद पर उनका यूँ ही असर होता है
सच कर दे इस ख़्वाब को अपनी बाहों में भर के तू सनम आज की रात का सफ़र भी अब यूँ ही ख़्वाबों में खत्म होता है
We have taken a decision for us.It was one of my days when i felt i have lost something for a short time which i treasured the most.God has been kind on me that whatever i loved it had always stayed with me no matter.Might be there is something else but i felt i went with her coz i wanted to make her strong,somebody whom i treasure and love the most in my life.They say parents,friends are most important part of your life and you love them the most but sometimes you dont know when you start loving somebody so much that you forget yourself in that.I hate to see her cry for things beyond her control,emotions which she has not created,sentiments which make her feel guilty... whenever i think of her i feel why these things had happened to her.She is a kind of person who had always enjoyed life much more then anybody and she knows the true color of life.. i must say god has been... cruel to her.Is it her mistake to care about somebody,feel the greatest emotion and support ,at times costing her honesty...well not really its not her mistake at all.She has been a good child, caring daughter,loving sis and above all a girl who floated all her her emotion just to protect somebody from unkind fate.
I will never be able to really understand what went wrong and i will never try to question her judgement.She has been honest to her emotion and she has sacrificed herself unconditionally.We cannot stand such kind of emotions.God must have something better for her in future might be HE is just testing her.If anybody want to learn what love,sacrifice,care,determination and emotions are they must have to learn from her.She has made greatest of sacrifice in life but still she has smile resembling her true spirit in understanding life.I am with her always and i will always be just to make her strong and happy,i understand i need to give her some time.
Love hurts the most when you haven't understood your lover.Its what love means.Its extreme can only be felt by lucky few.Love means to me to give love unconditionally if are unable to do that then don try, you will fail miserably and only will get hurt...
Friday, August 10, 2007
All you need is love
When a relationship is complete, you can count on pain showing up and its overwhelming.The only difference is we all experince it on different levels.The most important relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.Relationship can quickly change our routines, habits and obligations. Like one of my known person was not in the habit of brushing at night but when she came, she changed everything.Small things but matter most.The more settled we become with our love ,the harder it can become to envision a different life.More often then not love can feel more like a fantasy, it is a affirmation of free will.when we open our mind to behave in a diferent way, we create the freedom to love..To open our hearts to love is perhaps the greatest gift we can give to ourself.
When we make the decision to go for results in our love relationships, thats the real moment we make our partner happy. This is actually an important path to passion, a path to trust also called intimacy.Trust between couples communication bonds in a very special way.We all want to experience intimacy another form of passion.The way how you feel with your partner. They move close and get tied in unity,love and satisfaction.The bond an everlasting and unconditional.
The greatest part is to reveal your innerself in being transparent and some which is genuine, unimaginable and worth while.The unity of lovers does the work of angel and can virtually produce anything if they desire.Being romantic with your intentions reflect thoughtful affection and bond.Its a matter of respect an acknowledgement of commitment and visible evidence of love.When you say frequently "i love you" is redeeming the meaning of love and demonstrates that the words are true.Love can inspire a lifetime of emotion and passion. So great relationship with your partner begins with how much we love each other foremost in our mind, everyday and every second. Like attracts love and that is how what we become we attract.Love is a quest not only for anwers but for questions and giving undivided attention to your loved one.
And on that cheek and o'er that brow
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,—
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent.
When we make the decision to go for results in our love relationships, thats the real moment we make our partner happy. This is actually an important path to passion, a path to trust also called intimacy.Trust between couples communication bonds in a very special way.We all want to experience intimacy another form of passion.The way how you feel with your partner. They move close and get tied in unity,love and satisfaction.The bond an everlasting and unconditional.
The greatest part is to reveal your innerself in being transparent and some which is genuine, unimaginable and worth while.The unity of lovers does the work of angel and can virtually produce anything if they desire.Being romantic with your intentions reflect thoughtful affection and bond.Its a matter of respect an acknowledgement of commitment and visible evidence of love.When you say frequently "i love you" is redeeming the meaning of love and demonstrates that the words are true.Love can inspire a lifetime of emotion and passion. So great relationship with your partner begins with how much we love each other foremost in our mind, everyday and every second. Like attracts love and that is how what we become we attract.Love is a quest not only for anwers but for questions and giving undivided attention to your loved one.
And on that cheek and o'er that brow
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,—
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent.
Thursday, August 9, 2007
Lonely
Its nearing almost 144 hours since i lost all ready communication with her. The world is spinning so fast. Well i am in a negative state of mind also called loneliness marked by a sense of isolation which is a bit different from solitude.The bitter form of loneliness perhaps is being with people but still feel lonely.. Its an harsh punishment state of discomfort marked by estrangement which you are giving yourself coz you miss somebody terribly in your life. Loneliness is such that when your cell rings you get a smile and when you see somebody else you go to a state of uncomfort.You don't get your sleep as if her thoughts keep waking you up. You skip everything just to be left alone with memories about her smile, her talks,her small things.
An unconscious negative biasmay start feeding your depression.Its the loudest noise of your heart your are neither in heaven or hell you feel like loosing ever thing and you totally live with a single hope that you will meet her one day.Its a situation where you have met your real inner self its not harmful its hurtful.It drives you insane. you feel sad , depressed all alone and you avoid meeting new people. and you become all the while critical. All the while you just being with her snaps, letters , talks, emails and thinking about all those passed moments.Precondition of living real life just becomes a burden.You walk a lonely path in the company of grief. Lost and dwell ed deep your love feelings pacing slowly at the other end.Our memories, our thoughts, ideas , notions attitude and feelings all go hay wire.Only in love where one accepts to be lonely does he feels solitude of things. One relation to them and to lay one open to pain. Unaccustomed to caring we become paranoid and insecure.
Amid the darkest clouds of tumultuous loneliness there is storm of pain , hope and confusion.
Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness;
So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.
An unconscious negative biasmay start feeding your depression.Its the loudest noise of your heart your are neither in heaven or hell you feel like loosing ever thing and you totally live with a single hope that you will meet her one day.Its a situation where you have met your real inner self its not harmful its hurtful.It drives you insane. you feel sad , depressed all alone and you avoid meeting new people. and you become all the while critical. All the while you just being with her snaps, letters , talks, emails and thinking about all those passed moments.Precondition of living real life just becomes a burden.You walk a lonely path in the company of grief. Lost and dwell ed deep your love feelings pacing slowly at the other end.Our memories, our thoughts, ideas , notions attitude and feelings all go hay wire.Only in love where one accepts to be lonely does he feels solitude of things. One relation to them and to lay one open to pain. Unaccustomed to caring we become paranoid and insecure.
Amid the darkest clouds of tumultuous loneliness there is storm of pain , hope and confusion.
Ships that pass in the night, and speak each other in passing,
Only a signal shown, and a distant voice in the darkness;
So on the ocean of life, we pass and speak one another,
Only a look and a voice, then darkness again and a silence.
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